“Are you still doing that Artsy-Fartsy Stuff?”
5 minute read
A small rusty metal sign in the shape of a dog pooping on a lawn with the word "NO!" written on it in white letters. Somehow this strange image just perfectly suits this post (even though the answer to the title question is YES!). Photo credit: mine.
(I am finally publishing this post weeks after it happened; I’m using “today” here, but friends… it was not today at all)
What follows is my underwhelming response to the aftermath of someone's innocent comment that REALLY didn't go over well with me. I don’t like to complain or dwell on the negative, but every now and then something rubs me the wrong way and I want to process it...
This is one such story.
While taking River for a walk through my neighbourhood today I ran into a nice-enough but irksome fellow I’d ran into on previous occasions. He is an older guy, nice enough to exchange pleasantries with, but… no potential for neighbourly friendship beyond that, because before long his Macho Entitled Older White-man energy always comes into play. And I… well, I just can’t stick around for that sort of thing.
[Aside for context: One time prior to this interaction, chatting among a group of other dog owners, a bird of prey flew overhead and I pointed out that it was a Northern Harrier, and he mansplained that it was certainly an Osprey. No credit for the younger woman, a trained naturalist who does in fact actually have some real world life experience. Nevermind that we were nowhere near water and the only predominant flash of white on the overall brownish-mottled bird was a bold patch above its narrow tail. It also had an owlish face and a much smaller bill… but OK. Whatever dude. Sometimes you have to “be nice” and let them win because it’s not worth the hassle to argue.]
Ahem. Anyway.
This irritating man and his (very sweet) dog shall remain nameless.
When as we passed by his place today he stopped waxing his truck, called out a hello and his dog loped out, tail wagging, to greet us. Not thinking much of it, River and I stopped briefly and I let the dogs interact a moment. Our dogs are fond of each other, at least. On a different previous occasion, I must have mentioned I was an artist, because then this man, laughing while remembering, said…
“So how’s things? Are You Still Doing That Artsy-Fartsy Stuff?”
Oh geez. I nearly sprained my eye muscles.
Immediately, to avoid making a scene about it, I started walking again and called River after me. I was immediately angry and I was walking away.
“Oh Come ON. It’s a legitimate job,” I couldn’t help but say over my shoulder.
(What I really wanted to say was Oh FUCK Right Off, but I didn’t want to escalate the situation.)
Probably thinking he’d put his foot in it, he said
“OK, Artsy-Smartsy then.”
“That’s better.”
But… it wasn’t better. I still walked away. The conversation was over, the damage was done.
He didn’t think, he just said the first thing that came up. He was just trying to make a joke and be funny. I see that, and understand his casual motivations. And while that dismissiveness could be perhaps forgivable, that is also so telling of what’s happening in society.
“Artsy-Fartsy Stuff” speaks volumes for what our society thinks of art:
It stinks
It’s a waste product
It’s embarrassing
Worse: It’s shameful
It’s laughable
At best, it’s amusing or endearing
It’s something children amuse themselves with
It’s a cute hobby, but…
It isn’t even shit, nothing of substance
But in any case, it’s not serious.
It’s not a worthwhile profession,
It’s not a worthwhile pursuit, period.
What stinks about this job is what some other people think of it.
Never mind that there are tons of moving parts to my career, balancing my website and markets and stockists and commissions and client mentorship and social media, inventory, marketing, applications, packaging, shipping, copywriting, framing, ordering, accounting/bookkeeping (etc)… I’d like to see him keep up with all that.
Choose something else, society tells us. Be sensible, be smart.
Don’t stand out, don’t be different, don’t challenge the status quo.
If you do, we’ll laugh at you.
You’ll be mocked, bullied, until you do exactly what you’re told and get back in the box. (According to him, I imagine the box would probably include a stove, a refrigerator and a sink, and ideally a playpen…)
If you get back in the box then we might accept you.
This is what patriarchal society suggests we should do.
But patriarchy can shove that sentiment right back up its fartsy bum.
Because, at least mentally, I lived in that box for a lot of years. That time wasn’t “wasted” per se, and I don’t want to dwell on regrets, but I really do wish I’d made other choices sooner to figure out what my actual dreams were and then make efforts to follow them. From about 1997 through 2011, I put my art on hold. I pursued a science degree, I taught English overseas, I pursued education courses and I was on track to be an elementary school teacher, in fact. I thought I wanted, and expected I would have the teaching career and house and yard and spouse and children and regular visits with extended family. For lots of people that works, and that’s great for them! But that isn’t what happened, and anyway it wouldn’t have been the right path for me.
What I really want is to paint and write full time. In a way, it’s all I really get to have. I think it struck a chord for me because I live a very different life than what society dictates I should have. That’s another blog post in and of itself and I will link it here when it’s posted.
My creativity is my career, my life’s work, and one day it will be my only legacy.
Further, I empathize with folks that have had to put their dreams on hold.
Wanting to fit in is why so many people stop putting effort into something they truly enjoy because they believe it’s only for the talented, because they believe they have to be good at it right away… they give up before they recognize that putting effort into learning skills is just as effective as talent, in the long run. Even the brilliantly talented give up on things too soon. And then the world is made less beautiful and deprived of their unique perspectives.
So, am I STILL Doing That Artsy-Fartsy Stuff?
YES! Yes, I bloody well am. And now I’m mad about it and doubling down.
Making art is *radical* in the face of all that^
It’s therapeutic and healing
It’s spiritual, even
It’s fun and relaxing
It’s beautiful
It’s meaningful, as meaningful as you want it to be
It’s powerful and empowering
It’s purposeful
It brings transferrable skills in creative thinking, problem solving, communication, and so more.
It builds our courage and our confidence
It builds our resilience
It takes us away from social media and into the real world for a bit
It rewires our neural pathways
It balances our nervous system so we can better handle stressors in our daily lives, in this broken world
It inspires others to try it out and experience the same benefits… and that further inspires others…
Artsy-Fartsy, My Ass. THIS is why I’m doing what I’m doing.
I kind of want to say “Screw you, old man.” but… it’s also kind of not his fault. He’s just a pawn in the bigger system saying the default thing to say. He didn’t really know any better, and that’s kind of sad.
Anyway, while he’s waxing his truck I’ll be over here changing the world for the better, even just my little corner of it.
